The Z/Web Archive

This was a fascinating little book without much plot or action, but plenty of subtle drama and inuendo. It dealt with the lives of several families in Greenwich, Connecticut, in particular a multi-millionaire who had previously been a U.S. government official who ordered the deaths of a group of nuns and priests in South America. This white-handed murder (he did not do the killing, only signed the order) gives him guilt many years later when an investigation of the event is started. Not much happens in the book, but the collection of characters is interesting, and like on TV shows like Twin Peaks and Desperate Housewives, you sense hidden horrors behind the facade of civility. Fast is a very good writer; I was impressed by his mastery of the craft. But though the book hinted at philosophical and psychological depth, it didn't really have enough for my tastes (it was a little light, considering the subject matter), but it was entertaining and interesting.

A brilliant idea to the Grandpa dilemma: he will move in with me! The logic makes total sense: I work from home, so I'm almost always here. Unlike my mother, I can physically assist him if he needs help. I'm in a good location, near a hospital, near the Portland metro area, near relatives and friends. My house is one level and except for one step at the main entrance, wheelchair accessible with an open floorplan. Of course there will be changes to my lifestyle: Grandpa expects meals at regular times (so no more afternoon breakfasts for me); he won't like my TV programs; it'll be difficult to leave him alone for too long, so I won't be able to go away without arranging for a substitute sitter. But overall, I like the idea. Grandpa and I get alone well, he told me he'd like to be here over being in a care facility, and he sleeps most of the time, so I don't think he'll be that much of a burden. Besides, he raised me half my childhood, so this is payback, right?

It looks like we're closer to making a decision about Grandpa. He's definitely not coming home: there's just no way. My mom isn't physically able to care for him there and it's just too dangerous. If he falls or struggles, all she can do is call 911. He's also isolated from the family way over on the coast. We think it's best he be put in a care facility in the Portland area where we can all visit him regularly and be available if he needs us. This means a lot of changes in the near future for everyone, but at least now we have a clear idea of where we're going. We could try to come up with ways to keep Grandpa at home (i.e. having one of my cousins move in), but such things would be difficult to engineer and only temporary fixes. Unfortunately, the time we've dreaded is at hand, and we can't care for him ourselves any longer. Even if he can regain some of his walking ability, it most likely won't be for long (he has a bad knee and hip), and he needs 24-hour care in case he falls or has a problem. I mostly worry about his own attitude: he does not want to be in a facility and he could simply give up if he's put in one, but I hope he doesn't. His general health is good and if has a positive attitude he could have many years left. It's just sad to see him fade away. His short-term memory isn't good and I dread the thought of his mind fading to the point where he can't recognize family, etc.

Today was not a good day. The family had come to the uncomfortable decision that Grandpa most likely will not be able to come home, though we might still try to figure out a way (we're still not sure how well Grandpa is or isn't). After half a day of analyzing finances and trying to predict the future, my mom visited Grandpa (I was in bed with my cold) and found that he still can't really walk (though he thinks he can), and that he's got to be out of the care facility where he's at by this Sunday. It was evening by the time my mother was to go home so I suggested she stay at my place rather than drive home in the cold and dark, and she agreed. She telephoned her friend that's been watching Monica, her little crippled Pomeranian, and learned -- what timing! -- that Monica passed away yesterday at about three o'clock. My mom was devastated. Though the news wasn't completely unexpected as the dog's always been weak and over Christmas got so bad that she could no longer walk, it was still very difficult news to hear. In a way it was crueler that it happened while we were gone but it another way it was a blessing that she didn't have to deal with it directly. Still, the timing, with Grandpa's situation foremost in our minds, could not have been worse. My mom's gone through a lot the past few years: Ben's brain injury and personality change, the divorce, moving to Oregon, her own diagnosis and struggle with rheumetoid arthrisis, the dog's medical issues, and various emergencies with Grandpa, and Monica was her sole constant and comfort during that time. Now she's gone. It's a tough time.

Our trip is finally over. It was only a week, but felt like a month. On Tuesday we drove to Leighton, Alabama, which is west of Huntsville and in the middle of nowhere. It was great, though. We got to see my Uncle Jack and Aunt Wanda, and my cousins JJ and Corina and their families (they both have spouses and kids I'd never met). JJ barely remembered me -- he was probably only about four the last time I saw him. I was worried it would be a little awkward seeing relatives I haven't seen in so long, but it was great. I don't know how or why we drifted apart (this country's just too large), but it was great to see them again. I'm glad we made the effort and they really appreciated it. We couldn't stay long at all -- just had dinner -- and then we were off to Nashville. We arrived before midnight and crashed, my flu or cold or whatever wiping me out. I was slow going in the morning, but there was lots to do. We had to return our book-on-CD to Cracker Barrel restaurant (they have a nice lending program), fill up the rental SUV with gas, return the vehicle, and check into our flight home. Fortunately the weather cooperated and everything was on schedule. After the mess on the west coast for a while there, it was dry and our flight into Oakland was routine. We had a two-hour layover there, then it was back home to Portland. I was exhausted and sick and just wanted to sleep, but my mom was already trying to figure out how to deal with Grandpa and his situation.

This was a book on CD we rented for listening during our trip. It was okay, a mindless political thriller that entertained, but had some surprisingly artificial action sequences and forced drama that didn't gell with the cerebral storyline. The idea was interesting: the "zero game" is a game bored politicians in Washington came up with in which they bet on the outcomes of various bills and events. It's all secret, with no one knowing who else is in the game. The bets are always on "sure things," events where the outcome is practically guaranteed, or silly meaningless things like if someone can insert certain keywords into a senator's speech. The idea is to bring spice into trite and staid political lives of endless speeches. This all goes wrong, however, when someone uses the game to murder, and then the main character uncovers a huge conspiracy. Unfortunately, the novel's strangely and awkwardly paced: one main character dies early into the story, suddenly shifting to another. That character is written first person, but we occasionally switch to an omnicient narrator at times to keep up with other threads of the story. Then the link between the game and conspiracy is extremely weak, and the conspiracy itself is convoluted, and if you think about it for oh, two seconds, you'll find about fourteen dozen plot holes big enough to drive semis through. Pretty lame. Add in an overly dramatic reading, forced drama (The main character's flashlight dies so he's trapped in the dark -- ooh, drama!), and you're in for a tiring read. It's also much too long. But it's not all bad. There are a couple interesting characters, and some of the political stuff is astute. Unfortunately nothing works together and the whole thing is rather a mishmash of dreck in the end. Save your time and do something more valuable, like counting the bumps on your ceiling.

It was a nice wedding Saturday, with some good family time afterward. The turnout was surprisingly good, perhaps a hundred or more people. Several relatives on our side of the family came from nearby Springfield, which was nice. Funny that my California cousin would meet and marry a girl from Missouri (our family has a lot of Missouri connections and I lived up in Springfield myself for a time). Sunday I woke up with a full-on cold: I'd been fighting it since before Christmas, a slight sore throat that warned of more. But all the travel and lack of sleep brought it on full and this morning I couldn't swallow without screaming. We stopped at a Wal-Mart and I stocked up on cold medicine. The rest of the trip is appropriately hazy. We drove to Springfield yesterday and stayed with my great-Aunt and Uncle. Today we headed for Alabama. This was a bit unexpected, but when I talked with my Uncle Jack on Friday, he mentioned he was only two hours from Nashville, so we decided instead of returning via the northern route, we'd go south and come up to Nashville from below, passing through Alabama and visiting Jack and my cousins. It meant less time in Springfield, but I haven't seen Uncle Jack and family since I was nine years old. We thought we'd go as far as Memphis but apparently stopped in West Memphis, a city that's apparently in Arkansas, not Tennessee. Weird.

Yesterday we drove to Maryville, near Knoxville, to visit my aunt and her husband (who is ill). It was a great visit. We also got to see my cousin Jodi (who I haven't seen since I was a kid) and her family (she has three great children). Today we (I should say I) drove for eleven hours as we went from Maryville to Eminence, Missouri. That's in the middle of the Ozark mountains near nothing. It's about half-way between Paduca and Springfield, if that means anything. Anyway, it was a long, long drive across all of Tennessee, up into Kentucky for a spell, then halfway across Missouri. It rained a lot and there were flood warnings. Not long after we left Paduca there were reports on the radio of the Ohio river there flooding there. We were also delayed by a multi-car wreck on I-40 before Nashville. We saw two ambulances go by, but the main vehicle in the accident appeared to have gone over an embankment and we couldn't see anything but the rescue workers. We did see a few other banged up vehicles that appeared to be rear-enders that couldn't stop in time. It made me drive carefully, let me tell you. Fortunately the weather, while wet, wasn't terrible. We got into Eminence late, missing most of the evening dinner reception, and after a short while at the dinner word was out that it was starting to freeze and people should get to their motels ASAP. Sure enough, as we were getting settled in our motel room, the rain had turned to sleet and was icing on the cars. The "outdoor" wedding scheduled for tomorrow has been changed to indoors, thank the Lord.

Wow, what a day! Though our flight wasn't until noon, we still had to get up early and leave the house by nine. Crazy the way that works, but you need to get to the airport a couple hours early (to park the car, get through security, etc.) and I am an hour or so from the airport. The flight was packed and my mom's expandable carryon proved too big to fit into the overhead bins so it had to be checked (Why do they sell carryon-sized luaggage that expands to be too big?). The outgoing flight was slow to leave (I don't know why), so we arrived in Reno thirty minutes behind schedule. We didn't get off the plane there, but sat for a while and looked at all the snow. Then it was off to Phoenix where we had a two hour layover before our next flight. The food at the Phoenix airport was terrible. We arrived in Nashville a little early, at about 15 after eleven, but it was still midnight by the time we got my mom's checked bag, got the rental car, and checked in to our motel room. A long day.

My mother and I are heading east for the next week. My cousin's getting married in Missouri on Saturday and we're taking advantage of the opportunity to visit some relatives in the area. We leave Wednesday, but the trip sort of started today, as my mother had to come over from the coast to bring Grandpa some clothes -- he's been put into a facility in Forest Grove (40 minutes from me) where he'll stay while we're gone. Now we're facing the task of deciding what to do with him long-term. If he can't walk, my mother can't take care of him, so probably our only choice is to put him into long-term care. It's not something he wants, and we'd probably have to sell the beach house (meaning my mom will be without a place to live), but it's not like there are many other choices. My mom was originally planning on coming here tomorrow but it doesn't make sense for her to come over today and then again tomorrow, so she'll stay here tonight as well. I've got a ton of packing and planning and work to do before we go.