Issue 001 April 1998   COVER Issue 001 The Return of a Legend COMMENTARY What the Hell Is This Thing??!! How it all began. COMMENTARY Clinton versus Palmer An eerie coincidence? I don't think so. NEWS Homer Did It Home denies he did it, surprise, surprise. COMMENTARY Rage Against the Media The media blames the public for the media's faults. COMMENTARY Apple: It's Own Worst Enemy? After years of loses and controversy, suddenly Apple's Wall Street's darling. NEWS Giant Alien Maytag Cuts Finger David Van Wagner stitched. NEWS Publisher Hangs Himself! Read how the publisher of the Havoc killed himself back in 1991. NEWS World Cup 94 Report With World Cup 98 nearly upon us, this ancient report is curiously appropriate again. ADVERTISEMENT The Guilt-free Drink for Liberals The Ultimate Refreshment. Classifieds Letters Newsbriefs		Classifieds by Contributors JOB: Replacement for pet monkey. Few tasks, fetch slippers, etc. Full-time. Free room and board. WANTED: New ideas for classified ads. WANTED: Free stuff. PERSONAL: Looking for love in all the wrong places. Please send instructions. WANTED: Free stuff. WANTED: Free stuff. JOB: Replacement for pet monkey. Few tasks, fetch slippers, etc. Full-time. Free room and board. WANTED: New ideas for classified ads. PERSONAL: Looking for love in all the wrong places. Please send instructions. WANTED: New ideas for classified ads. JOB: Replacement for pet monkey. Few tasks, fetch slippers, etc. Full-time. Free room and board.

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